I am a walking contradiction

I am neither fearless nor weak.

I am not loud and I am not quiet.

I am careful, yet I am reckless.

I am thoughtful, yet I am impulsive.

I am pensive and observant, but I am not intelligent.

I am solitary, but I need people.

I am independent, but I am helpless.

I am anxious, but unaffected.

I am confident, yet I am self-conscious.

I am an open book, yet I hate revealing too much.

I am a good influence, yet I influence bad decisions.

I love to travel, but I am a homebody.

I need direction, but I hate being told what to do.

I protect my heart, but give myself away too easily.

I hate being hurt, but I find beauty in the breakdown.

I live in the middle. I am a chameleon. I can be whoever I want to be, but I can never be who I am not. I do not yet know who I am, so I lose track of who I am trying to be.

I live in the middle, but I volley back and forth between the extremes.

I am built up of many contradictions. And I am still wondering how that could be. 

X

These past few weeks have been tough, and there were times where I thought I couldn't get any lower, times where I simply felt like giving up. But I guess it's a huge jolt to me, and I will pick myself up.

Last paper on Monday, then i'll be back to talk about this hectic but rather exciting month. Let's do this.