Friday, 16 May 2014

I am a walking contradiction

I am neither fearless nor weak.
I am not loud and I am not quiet.
I am careful, yet I am reckless.
I am thoughtful, yet I am impulsive.
I am pensive and observant, but I am not intelligent.
I am solitary, but I need people.
I am independent, but I am helpless.
I am anxious, but unaffected.
I am confident, yet I am self-conscious.
I am an open book, yet I hate revealing too much.

I am a good influence, yet I influence bad decisions.
I love to travel, but I am a homebody.
I need direction, but I hate being told what to do.
I protect my heart, but give myself away too easily.
I hate being hurt, but I find beauty in the breakdown.
I live in the middle. I am a chameleon. I can be whoever I want to be, but I can never be who I am not. I do not yet know who I am, so I lose track of who I am trying to be.
I live in the middle, but I volley back and forth between the extremes.
I am built up of many contradictions. And I am still wondering how that could be. 
These past few weeks have been tough, and there were times where I thought I couldn't get any lower, times where I simply felt like giving up. But I guess it's a huge jolt to me, and I will pick myself up.

Last paper on Monday, then i'll be back to talk about this hectic but rather exciting month. Let's do this.

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