On the let down

(Sorry allow me to be self-involved for this once) It's been a pretty long time since I experienced a massive disappointment, at least relative to the expectations I've set for myself, and when it comes, it's a terribly hard hit for me. I guess I was always one who buckled and faltered under pressure, and I took pains to correct it but it's just not a simple feat. 

Maybe it's because what little I've achieved thus far is born out of sheer hard work, and I've come to rely heavily on it because the results seemed certain. But when your faith is shaken, you feel like you've lost direction. Like a lost lamb without its mother in unfamiliar terrain. 

I need to snap out of this. I need to snap out of everything. And pick myself up from the gutter because it's not like we've not all been through failure. 

I need a strength from within.