Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Open apology

To someone who would probably never see this: 

These are the things that often remain unsaid between us, largely because long, somewhat emotional messages are never our way of communicating and I'd rather translate that outwardly, in actions rather than words. How I left this morning, just like on several occasions, I know has just left you upset and disappointed, and it troubles me greatly. 

Every so often I lose my patience and become intolerant of your unrelenting chastisement, which is not unfounded, that I know and wished you knew of my acknowledgement. I'm so irritable lately and sometimes it just seems to seep and creep up upon others, mostly you because you see me at my worst. The helplessness you are feeling at being unable to empathise with me is very salient and it makes me feel the same way that I'm a source of it. 

I'm sorry for the times I think that you don't know better, because I am obviously wrong about that. For sending me up a further path you've never gotten the opportunity to walk yourself, in pursuit of things that past circumstances had limited you to achieve, I don't think you understand how much I actually think about that. Well I can't promise that I'll ever be able to reciprocate your efforts to the same magnitude, but I will try to make sure these efforts are not in vain. 

Thank you for meticulously undertaking the menial and often disregarded tasks that we take for granted, for staying up as long as your body permits just to wait for me to finish my work for the day, for your selflessness so that we only get the most of everything. I'm sorry for being a constant worry, for whenever I leave without saying a proper goodbye, for ever leaving you upset and disappointed. 

With love. 

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